Poor Mr. Yegge

Is there one skill that all professional programmers share ? Yep, its the ability to touch type.

This post on Steve Yegge's Blog argues that you can spot those who can't. He says

If you are a programmer, or an IT professional working with computers in any capacity, you need to learn to type

but frankly I've never come across anyone in the industry that can't touch type. Support, QA, trainers, heck even the newbie graduate in the little startup (the one who does all the work) can touch type on his first day.

The problem with Mr. Yegge's argument here is that non touch typers quickly become touch typers. I'd argue that

If you are a programmer, or an IT professional working with computers in any capacity, you will learn to type. You cant avoid it.

I spent a year on a ZX81 when I was 11 , then 6 years on ZX Spectrums after that. I could touch type on the ZX81's keyboard within 6 months - not fast mind you but I could type without looking at the keyboard (yes I'm being generous calling it a keyboard). You should have seen the speed of me (and my contemporaries) on the Spectrums old rubber keyboard. And today anybody using a computer for more than six months can touch type - even my parents can do it. The point is there is no way to use a keyboard day in and day out without becoming good at it.

Mr. Yegge then goes on to talk about programmers who cannot read. He's met or worked with programmers who couldn't read ? Sorry Mr. Yegge but no you haven't . You've met or worked with people who were hired as programmers but weren't - frauds in other words. No way, no how can you program a computer or any device without being able to read . (The only exception I know of is programming a Big-Trak and possibly the Lego Mindstorms brick with some child centric GUI). These people are bad hires, probably with CVs cooked up by agencies from the dirtier end of the agency curve ( and that's not a clean curve to start with).

You can see it in his post - Mr Yegge has had to work with ( and take up the slack for ) for someone who can't type, can't read and thus cannot code. Compensating for someone elses bad decisions.

Poor Mr. Yegge .

Management Patterns

You've heard of Design Patterns ? Common solutions to common problems. With the buyout of my employer nearly a year ago I've been seeing lots of new policies and practices come into play, many that echo Dilbert and this got me thinking: Could you classify some comming management techiniques or procedures into Management Patterns ?

I came up with a few examples :

Powerpoint Zombie Pattern
Used by upper level branch management or corperate management to disseminate information to lower level employees. Primary characteristic of this pattern is that the audience of the presentation find less than 10% of the information relevant and less than 1% of it usefull or new.
The powerpoint zombie pattern tends to occur in companies with 100+ employees or smaller companies that have been bought out.

HipNTrendy Company Pattern
Most often found in small startups. The primary focus is this pattern is energy - do something new , get it to market fast. Be the next Google ! We don't use the old tired ways that other companies do things - they lack our imagination.
Recoginisable characteristics of this pattern include casual or no dresscodes, open door policies, lower "start-up" level wages and promises of big payouts when the company eventually gets sold. Frequently develops into the Growth Spurt pattern.


Growth Spurt
You've started out with the HipNTrendy pattern and got a product out that the customers love (you've probably also adopted the Bend Over pattern for at least one customer). You see demand increasing and decided to add more staff to support it .
Primary characteristics include : New staff turning up every pay cycle, new customers getting signed up every week, boundless optimism, sunny skies and world peace.

Bend Over Pattern
There's this customer that has the CEO's ear and their word is law. DB code failing and app losing financial data ? Too bad, ImportantCo needs their 100% critical icon justification fixed first. If there is one company (or several) for which your company will given in and fold faster than Superman on laundry day for then your management is implementing the Bend Over pattern.

Titanic Pattern
You've been taken over or merged ! Despite management proclaimations of a brave new era of opportunity you see people leaving left right and center. The coming together of the two companies has been like the coming together of the Titanic and the Iceberg (and you're not on the iceberg).
Primary characteristics include : New mouse mats, pens, policies and more meetings. Departmental calendars suddenly contain a lot of single day holidays and you see a lot more people leaving the room to take calls on their mobile. Less work gets done and more people leave until the whole thing gets outsourced. The iceberg drifts on....

Frankenstein Pattern
Keep peddling a product that should have been put down years ago. Instead of listening to developer pleas to start again or to recode bits that are old and decaying you have to coble new features, even merging totally incompatible products and features into your product. Whatever happens, do not kill the cash cow.
Primary characteristics include : Your software has inconsistant icons and even spelling across multiple screens or windows. Developers spend more time fixing bugs than creating new features. Unit test coverage is allowed to slip and the roadmap changes so fast it's not on a wiki but on a whiteboard.

Chrome Dome

Apparently every techno blogger worth any amount of salt is blogging about Google Chrome, so let me establish my condiment creditentials with a few words.

Pros

• Its fast - it really seems to outpace my main browser ( firefox 3 ) . Someone else has created some benchmarks here
  
• Nice applet support - see this coders impression .
  

Cons

• Theres many privacy issues surrounding it - see Google Chrome Privacy - Worse than you think .
  
• I really like a lot of my firefox plugins - will/how will chrome support them ?
  

There is more I could write but frankly I'd just be repeating what others have said. I think I'll use chrome as my javadoc browser for now and keep firefox as my main browsers.